TACKLING THE INS & OUTS OF OLD RELATIONSHIPS
The word relationship has a wide range of definitions in 2015. It is not enough to be connected to another person by work or affection, but more often than usual it is never emotion based. Most people have realized that the simple use of the word to express the ties to another person is not enough. When you hear the word relationship what do you think of first? How does it make you feel?
New relationships are exciting because you are meeting and getting to know the person for the first time. Everything about them one is usually ready to compromise with. Your perception of them is based on past relationships and how they began or ended. You take those experiences and compare them to the new relationship good or bad.
New relationships can also be very tricky. Don’t allow your eagerness of having a new relationship change the way you view life. This is not an opportunity to change who you are. If you want a new start on life do it alone. It is better to know yourself first before entering into a new relationship.
Another thing that is usually rushed is commitment. If all you want is a friendship, identify that and have fun. Don’t make the same mistakes and assume that everyone sees a new relationship as training camp for marriage. Take your time and learn to communicate.
Old relationships are sometimes hard to end. There are many factors that play into the disconnect of an old relationship. For example, was the family involved, how long were you two together, were there any children conceived, how many times did you two separate, etc. With so many variables old relationships often blossom into new relationships.
However, the people who began to take steps in making an old relationship a new tend to forget why this relationship was left in the past. Is it too rigid to start taking notes once this chapter in your life has closed? Should the feelings of others affected be taken in consideration before any decisions are made? What have you experienced?
Remember no one can tell you if going back to an old relationship is a good thing for YOU unless that relationship was dangerous. Make your own list and measure if it is worth returning to. It maybe a comfort zone for you but it does not necessarily mean that it is the right relationship for you.
WHAT’S THE HARDEST PART ABOUT DEALING WITH AN OLD RELATIONSHIP?
“getting over the stuff that happened in the past”
“Thinking someone has changed and they are still the same, and old problems resurfacing”
“I have an old relationship now that I can’t get away from. I loved him once and wanted the family and the marriage. But now I am not sure. I waited for 4 years, and now that he wants all of the above. I’m looking for something and someone different. But half of me still wants the job.”
Whether it’s starting a new relationship or returning to an old make a decision that is right for you. It will be one that you will have to deal with only. Don’t let others persuade you and be honest with yourself if it the right time for either.
photo cred: Rui Silvestre